I find myself constantly full of life and thought... but unfortunately lately I have been having trouble reigning it all in! I have all these new ideas and goals and dreams and pleasures in learning and new insights and blessed moments... but I'm feeling inadequate at communicating it all to what it fully deserves.
The moments when I feel like this... which are seeming to happen more and more frequently, I find complete comfort and peace in the fact that God knows and understands me way more intimately than I know myself. God cherishes my every thought and experience way more abundantly than I do. I mean, wow, God CREATED me and takes DELIGHT in me... God loves overwhelming me with love... :) Loves loving me so I can share love... :) :) :) and again and again I'm brought back to the glorious, beautiful truth that God IS LOVE... God.. IS!!
...and now, yet again... I'm feeling paralyzed to say more even though I feel like I have soooo much to say. :) God's also overwhelming me with understanding - revealing more and more of who He is as I long to know more. :) :) And that reminds me that it's actually good and perfect that I'm having a bit of trouble trying to contain God with my words alone, hehe. How about... Praise the Lamb, Jesus, my Savior, God... thank you for smothering me with your love, taking my breath away so that all that's left is you breathing your life in me... :) :) :)
:) LOL... :) :) Have I convinced you yet that I have a beaming smile on my face? :) I made my teachers so frustrated with all the smiley faces I tried - no wait, I succeeded! - in peppering my "serious academic" papers with... I didn't mean it as disrespect against conventions, appropriateness or authority... I guess it's just simply hard to contain myself... hehe ;)
Ah, I know what I want to do... sing. I need to sing. I need to play the piano and sing... :) Yup. :D Too bad it's really late, my family is asleep, and the church building starts to feel a bit too creepy at night alone if I didn't atleast enter while it was still light, haha. Believe me, I know... been trying to conquer that fear in my frequent visits recently. :) I hope the janitor doesn't think I'm crazy yet, sorry Rod, lol. ;)
So... by the grace and help of the Holy Spirit living in me... I'm hoping to reign in my focus and goals and thoughts soon so I can be the most effective witness possible to the amazing love, grace, joy, and peace that I keep being filled to the brim and uncontrollably bubbling OVER with as I walk through each moment - from the most mundane to the most unique - of my life. :) There's still hope that eventually I'll establish a regular routine of blogging and figure out (or, I guess the challenge is more: sticking to!...) a clear purpose for each of my blogs. :) For now, thanks for patiently traveling with me through the randomness!
Now to go appreciate the beautiful gift of sleep... :D
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