I find myself constantly full of life and thought... but unfortunately lately I have been having trouble reigning it all in! I have all these new ideas and goals and dreams and pleasures in learning and new insights and blessed moments... but I'm feeling inadequate at communicating it all to what it fully deserves.
The moments when I feel like this... which are seeming to happen more and more frequently, I find complete comfort and peace in the fact that God knows and understands me way more intimately than I know myself. God cherishes my every thought and experience way more abundantly than I do. I mean, wow, God CREATED me and takes DELIGHT in me... God loves overwhelming me with love... :) Loves loving me so I can share love... :) :) :) and again and again I'm brought back to the glorious, beautiful truth that God IS LOVE... God.. IS!!
...and now, yet again... I'm feeling paralyzed to say more even though I feel like I have soooo much to say. :) God's also overwhelming me with understanding - revealing more and more of who He is as I long to know more. :) :) And that reminds me that it's actually good and perfect that I'm having a bit of trouble trying to contain God with my words alone, hehe. How about... Praise the Lamb, Jesus, my Savior, God... thank you for smothering me with your love, taking my breath away so that all that's left is you breathing your life in me... :) :) :)
:) LOL... :) :) Have I convinced you yet that I have a beaming smile on my face? :) I made my teachers so frustrated with all the smiley faces I tried - no wait, I succeeded! - in peppering my "serious academic" papers with... I didn't mean it as disrespect against conventions, appropriateness or authority... I guess it's just simply hard to contain myself... hehe ;)
Ah, I know what I want to do... sing. I need to sing. I need to play the piano and sing... :) Yup. :D Too bad it's really late, my family is asleep, and the church building starts to feel a bit too creepy at night alone if I didn't atleast enter while it was still light, haha. Believe me, I know... been trying to conquer that fear in my frequent visits recently. :) I hope the janitor doesn't think I'm crazy yet, sorry Rod, lol. ;)
So... by the grace and help of the Holy Spirit living in me... I'm hoping to reign in my focus and goals and thoughts soon so I can be the most effective witness possible to the amazing love, grace, joy, and peace that I keep being filled to the brim and uncontrollably bubbling OVER with as I walk through each moment - from the most mundane to the most unique - of my life. :) There's still hope that eventually I'll establish a regular routine of blogging and figure out (or, I guess the challenge is more: sticking to!...) a clear purpose for each of my blogs. :) For now, thanks for patiently traveling with me through the randomness!
Now to go appreciate the beautiful gift of sleep... :D
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Great Wedding...
So... I've had a couple of re-accuring dreams off and on for the past several years...
and it involves a wedding and a large celebration gathering...
:) I'm just now starting to cherish this dream as the beautiful picture of Jesus Christ and His bride, the Church. :)
I am at the celebration in my dream... on the most beautiful beach in the world (after I visited Tulum in Mexico, it has usually been that beach...until now that I've been to some gorgeous beaches in Greece, hmm... hehe) and we're having the best party ever. :) And what's so special about it for me is everyone is there... everyone that I have ever known or who has ever been a part of my life in some way, is there. And I just spend all day reminiscing with amazing friends and experiences... and making new special memories at the same time.
I wonder if "heaven" will be like that... :)
Well, as I am sending out support letters to nearly everyone that I can think of who I care about and want them to partner with me in an amazing work of God... I count it a privilege to already be entertaining that piece of heaven - encouraging and loving all of the friends and people God has blessed me with as a part of my life! :)
God, wow, you're so good. :) I'm so excited to continue knowing more and more of your awesomeness! :) :) :)
and it involves a wedding and a large celebration gathering...
:) I'm just now starting to cherish this dream as the beautiful picture of Jesus Christ and His bride, the Church. :)
I am at the celebration in my dream... on the most beautiful beach in the world (after I visited Tulum in Mexico, it has usually been that beach...until now that I've been to some gorgeous beaches in Greece, hmm... hehe) and we're having the best party ever. :) And what's so special about it for me is everyone is there... everyone that I have ever known or who has ever been a part of my life in some way, is there. And I just spend all day reminiscing with amazing friends and experiences... and making new special memories at the same time.
I wonder if "heaven" will be like that... :)
Well, as I am sending out support letters to nearly everyone that I can think of who I care about and want them to partner with me in an amazing work of God... I count it a privilege to already be entertaining that piece of heaven - encouraging and loving all of the friends and people God has blessed me with as a part of my life! :)
God, wow, you're so good. :) I'm so excited to continue knowing more and more of your awesomeness! :) :) :)
Monday, September 29, 2008
Great Weekend!
Okay...
So I'm still really bad at this whole blogging thing, haha.
Oh well. :) I'm back for a bit!
I had a GREAT weekend. :) Tessa's wedding was beautiful, and it was so much fun to be a part of. I especially enjoyed our pretty bridesmaid dresses and flowers and the whole ceremony - from the worship songs at the beginning, to the praying around the couple after the lighting of the candle at the end. :) The reception was quite fun too - especially the yummy honey-glazed ham, cream-filled cake, and goofy dancing. I didn't get the bouquet in the toss... but I suppose that's just as well. Frankly, I think it's just completely best to be single right now, and let God be my romancer. :) He sure is doing a great job. For starters, all I've got to do is look out my bedroom window at the beautiful field and sunrise each morning... :) God is such an awesome creator! :) So RJ and Tess made it safely to their paradise honeymoon destination, and I pray they have a wonderful time!! :)
Another fun part about this weekend was singing in church with my sister Sunday morning! Oh, I miss singing with her so much. :) We sang, "I Will Glory In My Redeemer" - a great song we sang together to audition for praise team last year. I'm excited! I will get to play in church again in 3 weeks. I'm looking forward to sharing a song I wrote - Bless Me, Indeed!, and a fun piano arrangement called "Sing Praise!" :)
Yesterday I also got to have a good grandma dinner and coffee time, plus I read more of the really great book, "The Shack," and I talked to a bunch of friends online!! :)
Today has been super too! I am well on my way to working out details for going back to Greece. My application is done, and my references all have their forms to send in in the next few days. Then I'll start talking with the Hellenic Ministries office about exactly how much I need to raise to get there, and dates, and... other stuff like that. In the meantime, I am enjoying catching up with friends, organizing my things here to give away or sell so I can leave without so much to manage left behind me - throw off everything that hinders, right?! :) AND, God has even provided me with a job until I leave for Greece. The situation works out great for both me and them, I'm so excited to get started with that in the next couple days as well. It will be good for me to have a bit more of a routine. It helps me stay focused and more productive. :)
Well, I am going to get back to uploading pictures to my facebook website now. It had been awhile! I still didn't even have my pictures up from the summer, ah!! :)
Until I post again... :)
So I'm still really bad at this whole blogging thing, haha.
Oh well. :) I'm back for a bit!
I had a GREAT weekend. :) Tessa's wedding was beautiful, and it was so much fun to be a part of. I especially enjoyed our pretty bridesmaid dresses and flowers and the whole ceremony - from the worship songs at the beginning, to the praying around the couple after the lighting of the candle at the end. :) The reception was quite fun too - especially the yummy honey-glazed ham, cream-filled cake, and goofy dancing. I didn't get the bouquet in the toss... but I suppose that's just as well. Frankly, I think it's just completely best to be single right now, and let God be my romancer. :) He sure is doing a great job. For starters, all I've got to do is look out my bedroom window at the beautiful field and sunrise each morning... :) God is such an awesome creator! :) So RJ and Tess made it safely to their paradise honeymoon destination, and I pray they have a wonderful time!! :)
Another fun part about this weekend was singing in church with my sister Sunday morning! Oh, I miss singing with her so much. :) We sang, "I Will Glory In My Redeemer" - a great song we sang together to audition for praise team last year. I'm excited! I will get to play in church again in 3 weeks. I'm looking forward to sharing a song I wrote - Bless Me, Indeed!, and a fun piano arrangement called "Sing Praise!" :)
Yesterday I also got to have a good grandma dinner and coffee time, plus I read more of the really great book, "The Shack," and I talked to a bunch of friends online!! :)
Today has been super too! I am well on my way to working out details for going back to Greece. My application is done, and my references all have their forms to send in in the next few days. Then I'll start talking with the Hellenic Ministries office about exactly how much I need to raise to get there, and dates, and... other stuff like that. In the meantime, I am enjoying catching up with friends, organizing my things here to give away or sell so I can leave without so much to manage left behind me - throw off everything that hinders, right?! :) AND, God has even provided me with a job until I leave for Greece. The situation works out great for both me and them, I'm so excited to get started with that in the next couple days as well. It will be good for me to have a bit more of a routine. It helps me stay focused and more productive. :)
Well, I am going to get back to uploading pictures to my facebook website now. It had been awhile! I still didn't even have my pictures up from the summer, ah!! :)
Until I post again... :)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
My Best Friend's Wedding...
So... the next couple of days will be full of events surrounding my best friend Tessa De Cook's wedding. Tomorrow happens to be both the decoration time, rehearsal, AND her birthday on top of all that. Tonight I was privileged to just chill with her family, eattin' pizza hut pizza, talkin' life, lookin' at pics of their possible new house, and watching a movie appropriate for the occasion: Made of Honor. :) As another chapter of her life changes, I pray God will bless her richly!! :) What a joy it is to share special joys with your friends. Now... I pray I fit into my bridesmaid dress after all the yummy foods I've been eatting lately!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Yeah! :)
Yeah! I feel quite proud of myself. I switched my main profile account in a matter of minutes, woohoo! :) I am going to try my darndest to manage two blogs... lol. Silly me, when I haven't even been able to manage one for the last... long time. But anyhoo... check out smilemeds.blogspot.com soon too! :)
I really really really will try to post more soon! :)
I really really really will try to post more soon! :)
Switching Accounts
Alrighta... I'm about to hit this blogging thing full force! :)
In the mean time, I'm trying to get all tricky and change e-mail accounts on myself... so we'll see how this goes. Hopefully it doesn't mess you followers up at all. Danielle... and Lynnette. That's you right now, hehe. Alright, off I go... I've got a TON of goals for myself tonight. This should be the least of my worries, but I love preoccupying myself with challenges such as these! :)
Here goes! :)
In the mean time, I'm trying to get all tricky and change e-mail accounts on myself... so we'll see how this goes. Hopefully it doesn't mess you followers up at all. Danielle... and Lynnette. That's you right now, hehe. Alright, off I go... I've got a TON of goals for myself tonight. This should be the least of my worries, but I love preoccupying myself with challenges such as these! :)
Here goes! :)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
A LOT to catch up on...
Well well well...
It's been nearly four months since I last logged onto my blog. For anyone out there who checked this often to look for an update from me while I was gone this summer, I apologize. I spent very, very little time in front of a computer. And when I did, it was mostly to e-mail people about important details for a big plan change that happened in the middle of my trip. Soooo... I have a LOT to fill you in on. :)
First, some thoughts I've been having...
Frankly, I haven't figured out if I can make this blogging habit a regular thing or not. You see, I journal all the time - I filled up two big ones this summer. But in my journal I am incredibly A.D.D. It is seriously like my mind spilled out on paper. I go from recounting days events, to random thoughts, to prayers, to... who knows what else. I have to develop a distinct purpose for this blog... and then actually get in the habit of doing it... before this space will be fruitful for me or anyone who would actually be interested in reading it! Otherwise it will just turn into another "have to get done" thing in my head, and no one will really ever log on and spend precious time reading my long posts anyway.
So... there we go, that was already a glimpse into my randomness. I just need to dive right in and start telling stories! Here's the problem... I'm going to have to put it off again, because right now I need to go work on a letter to my church consistory. If I come up with anything profound to say in that letter, maybe I'll post it for you later. This is so weird to me... who is this "you" I'm even posting for? Am I the only one that is actually ever going to read or re-read my own old posts and laugh anyway? Well, who cares. At this point it is still worth it to me I guess.
I have been blessed to be a blessing.
God, help me be a special blessing to someone today. :)
It's been nearly four months since I last logged onto my blog. For anyone out there who checked this often to look for an update from me while I was gone this summer, I apologize. I spent very, very little time in front of a computer. And when I did, it was mostly to e-mail people about important details for a big plan change that happened in the middle of my trip. Soooo... I have a LOT to fill you in on. :)
First, some thoughts I've been having...
Frankly, I haven't figured out if I can make this blogging habit a regular thing or not. You see, I journal all the time - I filled up two big ones this summer. But in my journal I am incredibly A.D.D. It is seriously like my mind spilled out on paper. I go from recounting days events, to random thoughts, to prayers, to... who knows what else. I have to develop a distinct purpose for this blog... and then actually get in the habit of doing it... before this space will be fruitful for me or anyone who would actually be interested in reading it! Otherwise it will just turn into another "have to get done" thing in my head, and no one will really ever log on and spend precious time reading my long posts anyway.
So... there we go, that was already a glimpse into my randomness. I just need to dive right in and start telling stories! Here's the problem... I'm going to have to put it off again, because right now I need to go work on a letter to my church consistory. If I come up with anything profound to say in that letter, maybe I'll post it for you later. This is so weird to me... who is this "you" I'm even posting for? Am I the only one that is actually ever going to read or re-read my own old posts and laugh anyway? Well, who cares. At this point it is still worth it to me I guess.
I have been blessed to be a blessing.
God, help me be a special blessing to someone today. :)
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